am I not real



dumbasschronicles:

catesstrophe:

today a dude slammed my finger on accident because he was closing a metal drawer i had my fingers in and i was on drive through and i literally screamed into the headset and the lady just kept ordering her drink as i was trying to hush down three different LOUD MEN SAYING “OH MY GOD WHAT DID HE DO TO YOUR HAND”

she just kept going 

i screamed into a headset and she just kept going

working in customer service


gaymerboy99:

illegally-ginger:

arousedean:

whitebeltwriter:

decertatio:

werewolfnl:

frostingpeetaswounds:

prince-of-mametown:

dreamerofderse:

"Family gatherings" aka "90% of the people here are racist"

”..and homophobic”

"and sexist"

"and claim to be none of these things"

"they’re just joking"

"you’re just going through a phase"

"you’ll get used to it"

"so do you have a boyfriend yet?" 

"Where’s your girlfriend? I though you were a ladies man?"


  • 911: 911, What is your emergency?
  • Me: YES, HELLO? THEY'RE RELEASING THE HOBBIT TRAILER TOMORROW.
  • 911: OH MY FUCKING GOD, MA'AM JUST STAY CALM, WE'LL GET AN AMBULANCE TO YOU RIGHT AWAY. SHIT SON.


1103-bakers-street:

cryingbloodviolently:

redpancla:

when you get to school and realize you forgot to put on deodorant 

image

I AM SO FUCKiNG SICK OF TUMBLR

HOW THE FUCK CAN I RELATE TO THIS ARMADILDO

I DONT FUCKING KNOW BUT I CAN

I CANT TELL YOU HOW BUT I KNOW EXACTLY HOW THIS ARMADILLO FITS HERE FUCK TUMBLR YOUVE RUINED MY LIFE

armadildo


Change one of the words in an anime title to “ass”

punkhange:

adiospongoportestigo:

heichou-wings:

digital-heichou:

astronaute:

thatmlc:

gaysociallink:

krovski:

redtoken:

suzuobaachan:

the-unknown-senpai:

whitehairkun:

coalgirls:

thisshitfunny:

wontongod:

Ghost in the ass

Cowboy Ass 

Ass

Ass Basket

Free!: Eternal Ass

Akuma no Ass

A Certain Magical Ass

ASS WARS!

Ass 4: The Animation

we still don’t know the name of the ass we saw that day

ass powers hetalia

Ass butler

tokyo ass

DRAMAtical ass

Death basket

Angel Ass

Ouran High School Ass Club


"When people say “You’ve changed” there’s a 95% chance that you just stopped acting the way they wanted you to."
— Anonymous (via dis-harmoniert)

thetardis-in-221b:

This scene just gets sadder and sadder the older I get.


thehillsarenothere:

okay u can make fun of Shrek all you want but if u don’t think they were the most beautiful fucking movies ever then ur wrong


scott-pilgrimage:

whosromeo:

i think it’s cute when someone admits they have a crush on you

i think it’s a fucking miracle 


"This could potentially end tragically."
— Me about 24 hours a day&night (via reasons-known)



theme